Tag Archives: Womanhood

My Pursuit in Excellence

Last year I started working outside of the home and began the divorce process. I knew these significant life changes would take some adjusting. I didn’t know that adjusting would go so deep and take so long. These adjustments have changed my definition of excellence, at least in some of the details. My pursuit in excellence (PIE) is still not a piece of cake, especially since I’m still figuring out what excellence looks like now?

Crater Monument TrailFocusing on that question, leads me to wonder how to record my pursuit in excellence, when I don’t know what excellence looks like to me. Where does this blog fit in with this transition? Is it book reviews and recipes? Cub Scouts and parties? Since working full time, all of those activities occur less frequently now. While they seem fairly superficial, the can be parts of my journey because they are a vehicle to bond with those I love, and avenues for growth. But what are my deeper focuses? Am I brave enough to really open up about the inner transformation I’m undergoing? Let’s hope so.

Thank you to those who have stuck with me through this transition. I appreciate your support and encouragement as I find my way down the bumpy path. Hopefully we can help each other along the journey toward excellence.

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Circular Thinking

I don’t know if it’s a girl thing, or if it’s just me.  I think in spirals, around and around a subject, gradually coming to an understanding. Or making me dizzy like a merry go round.  Sometimes this circular thinking is frustrating; it seems to take so long to make sense of life.  I hope to understand it one day.  I guess that’s why it’s a pursuit in excellence, not snap to excellence.

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Nurturing Voices

As I continue to nurture myself, I noticed the voices in my head.  Not the crazy ones; but that internal conversation we all have as we go through our day.  One morning I was feeling particularly low, and I realized that the most upbeat Bubbly Betty would deflate with the beating I was giving myself. I needed to switch out the bad for some nurturing voices.

I know the importance of positive self talk, and I was surprised to catch myself so deeply entrenched in the opposite.  Once I’m down there, it can be hard to climb out.  I have found a few tools to help me get back in the light.

  • List off the positive things I’ve done today.  Sometimes it’s as simple as I read scriptures with my children and got them off to school, I exercised, I did laundry.  Just the act of looking for the good about myself helps diminish all that’s wrong with me.
  • Write my thoughts down.  These thoughts aren’t usually something I want to keep in my journal for posterity, but just the process of letting it out helps tremendously – then I can burn it!
  • Exercise clears my head and distracts those negative voices.  Who can be sad when your loving your body with movement?
  • Read something uplifting, whether it’s the scriptures, the Ensign or a spiritually inclined book.  Tight now I’m reading Max Lucado’s Just Like Jesus. Sometimes the escape of a good fiction helps, but spiritual books leave me with a feeling that lasts a little longer.

Now that I’m aware, I can pull from my arsenal to get me out of that trench and get back to nurturing the only me I have – these tools are much more effective than chocolate!  How do you turn around those down days?


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Word of the Year – Nurture

Continuing with the tradition of the last two years, I’m choosing a word of focus for the year 2012.  Last year’s word, direction, has served me well.  I still struggle with spreading myself too thin, wanting to do too many things; but I’ve made progress in focusing on what’s most important right now.

Over the course of my quest for direction, I noticed my motives for many of the things I “want” to do were related to other people.  For example, my desire to learn to play the piano; I do want to learn to play the piano, but making the time necessary was creating more stress than pleasure.  But I pushed on hoping my practices would inspire my children to practice – it didn’t.  Part way through the year, I put that goal aside for now.

I hit me again several times in December.  Things I love about Christmas became filled with drama, like how many kinds of cookies we need on hand for Santa and our advent drawers. I love the activities that go with Christmas, but I kept hearing how my kiddos didn’t feel it was enough and I struggled with feeling the joy of the season.  I started asking myself, what do I need to feel the spirit of Christmas?  What does taking care of me look like? Because truthfully trying to make Christmas magical for my kids wasn’t working for me.

By the end of the year, my word of focus for 2012 emerged.  It seems a little selfish, but I don’t think it is.  I need to nurture myself to nurture others. The more I think about my words from the last few of years, they are part of the same journey.  There’s a flow between progress, direction and nurture.  Here’s to enjoying the journey!

What’s your word for the 2012?

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